Shit, I'm falling.
Turns out there was a seemingly bottomless pit behind the wall of light. Go figure. The walls of the pit seem to be made up of rock, so I'm going to assume I'm going to Hell now.
Nice.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
This kinda reminds me of that book, "Alice in Wonderland." Where Alice is just falling. And she's talking to herself, and other such shit. I never actually finished that book. I wonder if it...
OUCH!!!
That hurt.
Wow, this is Hell. It's just like the cartoons depict it. There's all, fire and pitchforks everywhere. A bunch of zombies are chained to the wall. Would this be the right place for me to go, since I wasn't such a good person in life? Would this have been the suitable place for me to live out eternity.
"Oh, what the fuck. Yo, are you still following me?"
Yeah, it's the Angel of Death again. I'm beginning to hate this guy.
"There's nothing I can do for you, bastard. You're not supposed to be here."
"Will you stop saying that! What does that mean?"
"Do you want me to prove my point?? Come with me."
He's taking me to what appears to be the center of Hell. I'm only aware of this because there's a very large sign on my right that reads, "Center of Hell." Isn't that convenient.
And then the bastard death angel gets on his knees and starts speaking in mumbo-jumbo, or some sort of weird language. Maybe Italian, maybe not.
"Any reason for thi.."
"Get on your knees, asshole! we're in the presence of Satan!"
Holy Shit! Yeah, he's right in front of me. Wow, all those TV shows really depict this afterlife stuff accurately. Big and red, with large horns, and goat feet. And of course, I am shitting my pants.
"Who are you?"
What do I say?
"Um, my name is.."
"Oh yeah! You're the guy who's not supposed to be here. What's up buddy?"
"Oh what the fuck! What is going on here? Why am I not supposed to be here?"
"Wait. Death didn't tell you?"
Now I'm really starting to hate this guy.
"Yeah, sorry, my bad. I didn't want to shock him with the news, so I didn't tell him."
"WHAT NEWS?? Could someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?"
Satan and Death are silent for a few minutes.
It's finally the Great Prince of Darkness who decides to spill the beans.
"I think it's pretty obvious. You're the Second coming of the Messiah, Jesus Christ."
Fuck.
To Be Continued...
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Yep, just read the first part and I like it. Its kind of an American-street version of Terry Pratchett (Yet its too far apart to be compared to). Watch the language - I know its a feature of your work but sometimes if its overused it can become ever so slightly laborious. The last "fuck" isn't really necessary. Just ending it before that is more of a hook.
Your stories are largely based on dialogue, you should try your hand at comic play writing. As well. As a story this was laugh out loud funny in places. Very original.
Regards, Adam
I would really appreciate it if anyone were to comment on this story.
Thank you.